blog

Is Furniture Alive?

Dub Mouse

I’m pretty sure like the sock monster, this mythical creature does in fact exist. It’s either that or furniture comes alive when you aren’t looking and moves.
I expect you’re wondering what I’m on about? Though I expect some of you readers are sitting there nodding your little noggin having guessed. Still clueless? Why reader, I’m on about bashing into furniture. The corner of a table, bedside stand, the bed etc. Those pieces of furniture you know exactly where they are yet somehow manage to bash yourself on.


I think little gremlins crawls out and secretly move such mentioned furniture and then giggle when you bash into them and more than likely if you’re me, say a few choice words afterwards then wonder how in the blooming hell you knocked into it. Or as I’ve already said, the furniture all get together at night when you’re fast asleep and hold secret meetings, maybe they hve a point scheme and score a set amount of points if you can get a human to hit certain parts? Though what sort of prize you’d get being a piece of furniture I don’t know.


I have no idea but all I do know is I’m pretty sure furniture moves when you aren’t looking and like ninjas attack you!!! Beware of furniture.

Summer

Is It Winter Yet?

Dub Mouse

Another blog written couple of years ago, some of my blogs are old ones which I’m slowly moving over. Wonder how summer be this year? Bit gutted as we’ve decided it’s safer not to jump in the camper this year and go camping.

To most people, Summer means sunshine, ice cream, smell of sun tan lotion, good looking girls in less clothes, gorgeous men with tops off, hot days……
In reality it’s: melting ice cream everywhere, chavs or gross obese blokes with tops off, women wearing things a size too small who really shouldn’t (bitchy yes, but it’s true), chav kids causing mayhem during summer holidays, increase of sirens whizzing down the road, sunburn, wasps and flies annoying you, being bitten, hot nights meaning you can’t sleep or cuddle and having to work during the heat.. Or is this just my view?


Despite the above, I do like summer especially the sunsets, clear skies to see stars and the lightning show you may see at night time, sunshine, walks out, a nice cold drink in a pub garden, the BBQs (haven’t been to many as we don’t have a garden), but I prefer winter… Those cold nights where you can have a mug of hot chocolate, curl up on the sofa and either read a good book or watch some rubbish film. Being able to snuggle in bed, then there’s the eating of certain food round Christmas time – good old roast dinners, chocolate etc.


Mind you, summer usually means better public transport as there’s less kids using them, more buses as none are taken off routes to be school buses, less traffic during mid-way of school holidays and it also means less staff in work place as everyone wants to take the time off (this maybe seen as a good thing depending on who is off), staff more irritable as it’s hot and after all who wants to be working in nice sunny weather? Of course there’s also the crowded beaches and trying to find a spot, however the best part of summer is probably laughing at the typical sunburnt British…..you can usually spot us folks from the United Kingdom on holiday, just look for the most sunburnt person.

Uncategorized

A Tribute To Emma Hudson

Dub Mouse

This an old blog from 2013, still think of Emma. Miss seeing her for rugby matches, having someone to talk to when needed other than bending my husband’s ear. She was a true friend and true friends are hard to find as you get older.

Emma (23/10/71 – 13/12/13) I’m not sure where to start really, it’s all still a little bit surreal that she has passed away. I’ve known Emma 13yrs, she was my training officer when I became a trainee scientist, helped me through university and my HCPC registration folder. I would write a bit, she would proof read and suggest any changes.

Emma was the person you could turn to in times of need or if you just needed some advice. She was amazing during my first marriage divorce, made sure I wasn’t alone and had a good knack of knowing when I was feeling low. If I ever wanted advice on things, Emma was the person I would turn to. Her advice was always correct and she knew how to keep you calm.

Memories of her are good ones such as rugby. When the six nations were on, it was always down to local pub for England games. I remember taking her to welford road, despite being a lifelong tigers fan, she had never quite managed to make it there. Her face and excitement when we arrived was just amazing. We’ve seen a few premier rugby union fixtures and when we couldn’t go, it was either round Emma’s for a match or round mine.

She was an extremely strong-willed woman and battled so hard for so long. I’m going to miss Emma, one of my life’s rocks. At least she is now pain free and at peace. Our local newspaper The Daily Echo had a tribute article on Emma. I’ve included the link below. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/10911310.Top_scientist_dies_aged_42_after_dedicating_her_life_to_medical_research/

R.I.P Hudders

Alcohol, blog

That’s An Ale Of A Beer

Dub Mouse

Ale – a true pint of beer, none of that fizzy chavvy lager stuff, you know the type I’m on about reader: fosters (rat’s piss of lager world), Stella (wife beater) or any of the other names you can think of.


Yes I’m on about a good proper pint of beer, a real man drinks ale (in my opinion, yours may differ slightly on that I sure). But what is it that makes Ale different (obviously no bubbles and chavs don’t drink the stuff)? Perhaps it’s the whole process of how the beer is made? All I know is that ale tastes blooming lovely and id gladly have that over any other alcoholic beverage offered to me.


Whilst we’re on beer: if you’re going to drink the stuff, don’t ask for halves. Nope, beer is the kinda thing that should be drank in pints! I refuse to buy anyone halves (not that I ever go out anywhere to buy drinks – heck my wheelie bins get out more than I do). That is of course unless you’re driving but if you are….You shouldn’t be drinking anything alcoholic in my opinion so I refuse to buy drivers alcoholic drinks too.


So what exactly are my favourite ales? I’ve been sat here thinking on that one, here’s the list so far, of course that may change. Ah ha you maybe thinking: this is an excuse to get the blogger to make us check the blogs more often….erm possibly but hey you don’t have to unless you want to know which ales I like :-p Maybe I should do one on favourite brewers but so far I only hve two. Unusually if you’re going to do a top fave list, you should ideally list 4-5 no?
1 – Spitfire
2 – Old Peculiar
3 – Young’s Double Stout ( this is pure genius whoever made it should awarded a medal, beer and chocolate…tofuckinggether – come on its a dream match!)
4 – Boondoggle
5 – Bishop’s Finger (it’s tastes good plus it has a name that never fails to make me giggle)
6 -Hobgoblin (if there’s no other ale and this is on tap, ill always go for it. Not my fave but hey)

blog, Uncategorized, working from home

A Day In The Life Of Working From Home

Dub Mouse

We all know about the covid pandemic (if you don’t what planet do you life on and can I live there?), so due to being a high risk person (which is different to extremely vulnerable) as asthma is on the list of high risk, my work’s occupational health have given rules, one of them being that I must avoid groups of more than two people. As this is impossible to prevent in my place of work, it was deemed that it was better for me to work from home during day shifts. So I’d thought I would give you an insight into what a Scientist would get up to, this is my second and first full day of home working:

0720: I arrived at my new place of work and already one co-worker has taken my seat, he is now currently sat cleaning his feet and the boss is asleep in an upstairs office. So I take one look at my new colleague in my seat and go into the kitchen area to make a coffee, also decided to take the co worker who has stolen my seat a little breakfast treat before I find a desk to sit at – he eats his breakfast and is suddenly interested in what I’m eating, to the point I’m being stared at.

0800: After 15mins of trying to get the tablet and keyboard to work as well as downloading the documents needed, my co-worker next to me decides to then take my jumper, snuggle in it and fall asleep. About 45 minutes into my work trying to sort documents out for my Continued Personal Development folder, my seat stealing coworker decides he needs a wee and I have to go with him. There’s a catch to this, he doesn’t use a normal toilet and insists on going outside to back of the offices where he sniffs the air, patrols by the back gate entrance to building (which no one uses), walks around on the grass before finding the perfect spot and lifts his leg up for a pee. He will then sniff about for a bit before coming back inside, and curling back up for more sleep.

0914 sees my co-worker having a need to wash his bits in front of me for 2 mins and then looking out the window as he is the lead for something called neighbourhood woof duty, this basically involves looking out the window, waiting for:

1) a red coloured vehicle to pass and bark at it

2) a person to pass and bark at them

3) a dog to pass and go full on barking and growling at it

4) get excited and bark if think someone is coming to the building’s front door

Meanwhile my boss, who has yet to appear is still asleep in an upstairs office, I know this because can hear him snoring. I now need another coffee.

10am: The long awaited tea break time, seat stealer decided he needs an accompanied pee again but this is on false pretences, it’s actually an excuse to stand outside for 5mins sniffing the air, eating grass and chasing flies. Have decided seat stealer is a weird coworker.

Finally hear from the boss who messages down asking for coffee. Seat stealer needs a pee again…but I’m tricked as he sees this opportunity to sunbath! Boss comes downstairs and seat stealer runs inside, picks up a treat and takes it to him, what a suck up. Meanwhile I’m left standing outside with coffee in hand looking like I’m slacking off.

Boss and seat stealer are having a discussion about limited sunbathing and climbing over fences. Seat stealer is now asking to share the boss’s biscuits and the staring longingly worked. Do I get any? Nope.

1118: Boss is playing a survival game called last Oasis, apparently it is teaching him tactics and hunting skills in case it’s needed. Seat stealer is now laid on the floor by the back door, staring out longingly at the sunshine after being told he can have limited sunbathing time, due to escaping into the offices two blocks down.

1300: it’s time for lunch and as I’m new, it’s me who has been nominated to make it. Meanwhile, seat stealer has moved from sleeping position on floor by the boss to a sleeping position on sofa next to me. His job title appears to be Chief of The Dream Police as well as Neighbourhood Woof Scheme Lead and Chief Sun Worshiper. Food is served and suddenly seat stealer is awake, he eats his then sits in the middle of office floor and stares at boss and myself to see who caves in and gives him a bit of theirs. The boss exclaims he isn’t sharing bacon.

1400: lunch time over and seat stealer sits next to me, trying to get my attention by attempting to lick my face randomly. After a pet, he then decides to curl up and resume sleeping. Meanwhile the boss is talking to someone about the survival tactics they are learning. Seat stealer wakes up and demands I play with him, this involves standing on me and barking until I agree to play, as well as going outside for an accompanied pee. The short play results in sulking after I state I need to get back to typing. The boss just laughs and says he’s a bugger sod sometimes.

1500: The boss is on the beer after I needed him to help with technical issues – the keyboard stopped working with the tablet and I couldn’t save documents. This also took him away from his meeting on the latest creation in Last Oasis. Meanwhile seat stealer is still sulking with me over having to stop play and has gone behind the sofa so I can no longer see him, I suspect he has fallen asleep.

1600: Boss declares he is going for a nap after seat stealer and him have a play session. Seat stealer is still sulking with me so follows the boss upstairs and pesters him for some cold water then decides to come back down and pester me until I cave in to give him attention and give him some food. This ensures I have an afternoon tea break, not only does seat stealer have his food, he then demands I give him some of my cheese snacks by staring at me and doing a weird shuffle.

1700: fully satisfied that he has had enough of my cheese snacks, seat stealer falls asleep next me whilst testing my gag reflex with his farts. Meanwhile the boss’s nap session appears to have turned into a sleep session and I can hear him snoring in the office upstairs.

1800: the boss awakes from his nap, whilst seat stealer is fast asleep having taken up most of the seating area and constantly kicking me in order to try and make me move so he can stretch out more. I’m getting hungry, Brain is starting to hurt reading scientific papers and my tablet battery is now at 14%. I am feeling the urge to start drinking gin.

1830: my brain is fried, my tablet has died, I’m hungry, seat stealer is hungry and boss is hungry. I need gin and I’m done for the day.

blog, hobby

Dancing On Water

Dub Mouse

Ever wanted to go sailing? The fella’s dad invited us to do just that with him on his boat Star Dance. So whilst onboard, I thought I would do a blog of our sailing in Turkey and a mini trip to Greece:

After an hour’s delay to our flight from London Gatwick due to a thunderstorm as we were going to taxi for takeoff and then as we were due to take off, all topped off by bouts of turbulence during the flight, and a scary taxi ride to the Marina (as in rally car type driving down an off beat road in the dark 😱), we arrived, were greeted by the fella’s dad and welcomed onboard Star Dance. 

Day 1-3 : Saw us have a tour of the boat with loads of technical terms and quite a bit to remember along with where to stand and not stand. The sails were attached and Star Dance started to look how she should. We also learnt how to make rope coils – yes there is a way which stops the rope twisting into a figure of eight as you make a coil along with learning how to tie various knots onboard. 

Next saw us trying to get the wind vane fixed which proved difficult and failed. This involved the fella’s dad climbing up the main mast to replace the one up there as it was thought to be faulty, the fella even did some wiring.

The day before we set sail saw us going to Marmaris town, doing a little food shop to last 10 days along with a dingey shop. Later we had diesel delivered so Star Dance had a full tank. 

Sailing

Day 1 (You are welcome to have Rod Stewart’s I am sailing song stuck in your head when reading this): 

So after the skipper received a Certificate to leave harbour yesterday, we were able to set sail but first Star Dance needed prepping. We had to make sure everything was stowed away, the water tanks were full and then she had a little wash down to remove dust. 

A radio call was sent so we had someone arrive to be guided out the little mooring space from harbour and away we went. We were taught various things required during a sailing trip such as the log book, which needs to be recorded every hour (no this is not like Star Trek and unfortunately no star date is recorded). We did a practice of the Man Overboard manoeuvre aka M.O.B just in case any of us decided to fall over. We sailed for a few hours and finally anchored at Turunç (it sounds like to lunch hehehe) for the night. This area proved a wee bit choppy for me which was to trigger my nervousness scared cry mechanism for a little bit.  

Day 2: The night proved to be okay. Took me a while to fall asleep as swells made Star Dance roll but it was alright once I dozed off. Day two saw all the checks before setting off such as engine, sail prepping and filling in log book. It was also the fella’s 30th birthday. 

It was the day of proper sailing with sails up – it was a bit hairy but I found out it was easier to look aft (behind) rather than to the bow (front). 

We anchored at Bozuk Buka at 1351, which was quite a busy place. I had taken on the role of lunch maker. Also tried having a solar shower on deck (was a 20litre camping shower bag that heated up when sun was on it, however the hose part kept coming off and 20litres quickly became something like 5 😱.

Day 3: We left Bozuk fairly early and set Sail to Datça so we could check out of Turkey. The sail today was actually quite nice. As we were sailing, the greek rozzers appeared 😱 eek. It’s alright though, they weren’t interested and carried on sailing. 

Today I have experienced something interesting or rather challenging – Having a pee whilst sailing on choppy water. It’s not easy and you have to try and brace yourself so you don’t end up crashing through the loo door 😂. This has not happened so far, as I’ve figured out you turn sideways and brace with legs when stood. Standing up from sat down position however is not so easy 😕.

Day 4: We arrived at Datça, where we had to go ashore to the harbour, had our own escort (two dogs followed us around) and checked out of Turkey. We had to have passport checked by the police (they carry guns 😨) and had the transit log checked by a man called erm no idea how spelt but was said as oh f**k (honestly that is how he pronounced it). We then had a little wander round the harbour, one of the dogs had decided to keep following. Seemed almost spaniel like with a little fan (tuft of fur) at the end of its tail. I decided to give it a piece of pastry that I was eating. She seemed to enjoy it and asked for more by standing on her hind legs, little front paws up and did a little whimper. Me being me and a sucker for dogs….gave her a bit more, again she gobbled it down then wandered off into some shade. 

We were recommended to try some Turkish coffee by the fella’s dad. I’m not a fan, it was really grainy. No wonder a glass of water is given with it 😂.  

Back on board and away we sail again. I then start to feel icky, probably the coffee so I didn’t take many photos. We arrived at Panormitis in Greece which is a lovely peaceful place to anchor. Overnight it got very windy and in the distance over the top of the mountains we could see a lightning storm. 

  
Day 5: Today we go ashore to have a look around as well as get a receipt for something to prove we had gone out of Turkey waters so we could check back in back later. 

From Panormitis, you can catch a bus to Symi. We were told it starts at 0800, and so decided we could row ashore for 0830 to catch a slightly later bus. It proved to be a pain waiting. We asked at the little monastery cafe who said it didn’t start until 1030, so we waited a bit longer and the bus actually didn’t start until 1200!!! 😠 anyway, we waited for 1200 and as we were first you would have thought people would let us on right? No, instead they all tried to get on the mini bus before us, and so we used rugby tactics. Luckily there were “normal” seats available, I say normal because once all the bus seats were taken….. The driver went into the little luggage compartment and pulled out plastic stools which were handed down the bus to those standing! There is no way health and safety would allow this in UK and to be honest I can understand why. When the driver ran out of stools, he wandered off and grabbed a wooden chair from the monastery restaurant.

At Symi town we discover it’s a nice little harbour village though there isn’t much to do. We were told by the mini bus driver that we could meet back at drop off point to catch a bus for 1400. However there we were waiting expecting to see the silver bus we arrived in, then suddenly we see the driver drive away in a blue bus and he waved as he drove off, so we ended up getting a Taxi back for €25 – the driver was pretty good and stopped so we could get out at various places to take photos. 

Once back to Panormitis we visited the monastery. It was a bit disappointing as all it had were two tiny museums due to the main working part not open to the public. The monument was pretty interesting as we discovered that the monastery aided the allies during WW2 with counterintelligence, but were found out by the Germans and as a consequence the Abbot, his assistance and the radio operator were executed on the 11/02/1944. 

Did you know the Greeks have something called “Greek delight”? No neither did I. Now I’ve heard of Turkish delight and the proper stuff is amazing but had no idea that the Greeks did it too, so naturally I brought some. 

Day 6: We set sail back to Datça to check into Turkey again. The sail in the morning was a bit choppy but then it sorted itself out and was actually quite enjoyable.  

We arrive in Datça and had issues with anchoring as the previous time we arrived. Once ashore we went to the passport police and whilst there we got to see the “police dog” who was a giant Labrador and I mean giant but she was a big softy and rolled over on the floor for a tummy rub.

Day 7: We stayed anchored in Datça due to the weather and winds so this meant we got to go ashore for a day. We strolled around Datça and of course the very annoying thing about Turkey came about for the millionth time : none of the shops seem to have any change, however this was to my advantage as I went to buy a bracelet and because the shop keeper had no change….he let me have the bracelet for free!! Woohoo!! 

Day 8: Today was an early start – 0500 wake up in order to get the boat ready for sail at 0600. We actually managed to set sail at 0557 (it’s the small things). It was a lovely sail and managed most of it without engine aid. We made good time and arrived at Turunç at 1530, 9hrs 20 was a far better time than expected.

Day 9: We rolled during the night (as in very choppy side to side) so I didn’t have a good sleep. We ended up having a nice lazy morning and set sail at 1242 for a tour of marmaris bay to Pupa Anchorage.

Day 10: Today was the end of our sailing trip, so we had another lazy morning, with a nice little cooked breakfast onboard, soon after we Sailed for the Marina. 

Getting Star Dance scrubbed:

Day 1: Saw us having an early start as it was a working day. Star Dance had to be washed down, scrubbed and polished. All sea water had to be washed off as the salt if left will cause erosion. 

Day 2: We travelled to Marmaris town via a free ferry whilst the fella’s dad cleaned below deck. I somehow managed to get burnt feet. It was a very hot day, and so naturally we took stayed out the sun by sitting in bars as they were shaded areas and ended up eating two Kebabs 😆 

Conclusion:

Would I do sailing again….. Probably not as I wasn’t keen on the choppy water or the boat going at certain angles but at least I can say I tried it and on the plus side I throughly enjoyed the sights and some of the sailing. 

blog, Food, Spring, Uncategorized

Panalate Season

Dub Mouse

Winter will so be leaving us, flowers will start to bud, and the trees will show signs of sprouting new leaves, soon it will be time for those little lambs to be bouncing everywhere…. It’s not spring, nope it’s panalate!

Why have I called spring panalate? Well reader, though I love spring and seeing all the signs of flowers starting to bloom, lamb roast dinners etc, I look forward to pancake day and yep Easter or as I call it chocolate egg exchange 🙂 hmmmmm.

PANCAKE DAY (aka as Shrove Tuesday):
Usually takes place on 4th March or round abouts this date in UK. We love pancake day, you can have all sorts of lovely stuff in pancakes such as…. Chocolate, fruit, lemon and sugar, honey. The list is probably endless I imagine. So what is pancake day? Well rather than me explain, have a read of this little link which explains it pretty well – https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Pancake-Day/

Those of us who aren’t religious, enjoy pancake day because it’s a good excuse to eat pancakes and well it’s kind of a tradition in the uk 🙂

EASTER:
Most of you who are clued up on these things will know it’s Christian thing, even though it’s taken from a Pagan festival. People who aren’t religious will just know this time of year as chocolate egg exchanging time, a good excuse to eat lots and lots of yummy chocolate 🙂

LAMB ROAST DINNER:
The traditional thing to eat on Easter Sunday is a nice lamb roast dinner! Probably because it’s spring and well there’s plenty of yummy lamb to eat. I love lamb, with loads of mint sauce.

So welcome to panalate season, a season of having pancakes, eating chocolate eggs and lamb roast dinners.

Police, Uncategorized

Blue Lights and A Police Cell

Dub Mouse

It’s not what you think….honest. I’m a good girl.

When I was very ickle (and I mean very ickle because as a 30 something year old I am 5ft 2 and a half” – that half means a lot when small. Yep when I’m an old biddie with an asbo terrorising the youngsters on my scooter ill be really ickle), I remember dad would come home for lunch whilst dad ate lunch, little me would sit at the table quite happily listening to the police radio (I still like listening to the police radio). Once dad had finished lunch little me would play in whatever police vehicle dad had driven in.

One particular day dad had driven a huuuuuge police van (to little me it was very huge). Lets set the scene: I goes to play in big van, dad says don’t go in the back. What does little me do? Yep play in the back. There I am reader, playing in the back when suddenly the doors shut and the van starts moving – Ah oh!!

The van stops, doors open and there’s waggy!! (Dad’s nickname given by me). Smiley me. We go into the Police Station, hve a mini tour. Again smiley me. Enter the custody area (known as custody suite nowadays), little me is shown how finger prints are done. Yay – fingers onto ink pad then rolled onto paper, this is fun for ickle me so again smiley me. Now onto the cells…”go in and have a look” in walks me, cell door slams shut… Ickle me not happy, ickle me scared, ickle me cries. I’m only in the cell for a couple of minutes maybe? To ickle me this seems like forever. Nowadays lol for some bizarre reason I dont like police cells. When I had a whirlwind tour of police station I volunteer at and was shown the custody suite…I quite happily looked round but wouldn’t dare walk too close to the cells. Me no likey!! I think the whole scary cell thing happened when I was about 4 or 5. Not sure.

My point reader for telling this story of ickle me is a simple one. Maybe all children when at primary school could do a tour of their local police station? Be shown how things are done and the cells. Go through the process of erm being processed and go into a cell to experience what it’s like to be put into one. I reckon it may possibly put a few kids off later in life. I don’t know but all I know is to ickle me it was a scary moment.

Rugby, Uncategorized

Crouch, Touch…….

Dub Mouse

Ah rugby, men in tight shorts….. at least that’s what a lot of men think when they see a woman who likes the sport, and try to explain the rules when watching down the pub, and if you play assume you’re a lesbian – so it’s been in my experience.

Let’s roll back the years to 2010 on 31st October 2010. I was playing a fantastic game, I was in my position (outside centre) and had been asked by coach to fill in as utility back (someone who can fill in all back roles) at various points. I have the ball, I’m running and there’s the try line…..a two person tackle – one high and one at the knees, and a very loud audible pop, followed by pain lots of pain. Apparently I had still kept hold of ball and was insisting on getting up, but found I couldn’t walk. Turns out that tackle to the knee had partially ruptured my ACL = playing days over. After my key hole op as the rupture has caused part of the ACL to prevent my leg from straightener and was able to move, I’m still at the club watching games and training session. I get told by coach that I would have been selected by my county team to play for them. I was gutted.

Understandably I couldn’t really get into the sport and stopped attending games and the club, it was upsetting seeing others play knowing I couldn’t. I was told by consultant that I can’t run as “your ACL is like a case of angina, heart attack may happen, you just don’t know when. ACL could go running for the bus, so we’re advising you not to run and that means being unable to play rugby.” You see, the nhs won’t operate until an ACL goes completely.

Anyways let roll back to present day: Rugby World Cup 2019! I have watched pretty most of the games and boy some of it has been fantastic, though the one thing I miss from rugby is the Crouch, Touch, Pause, engage. Oh I get it’s for “safety reasons” but you still see players collapse scrums, and there’s been quite a lot. You still get the copious resets, apparently the new whatever it is they say was meant to stop that.

With thanks to the England lads, I’ve almost gotten my love for rugby back. I’m not at that full level as still find it tough watching and find myself wishing I still played. Next step is to go and watch some teams play and see a few of my team’s (Leicester tigers) matches.

blog

Ode To Nanna Darling

Dub Mouse

On Monday 15th July 2019 at 1205, the lady I called nan also known as Audrey Yeates passed away.

To me, nan had a couple of names: Nanna Darling – because she always said darling, and simply Nan. She wasn’t just any Nan, I used to think the programme super gran was based on my Nan because she was super gran.

Nan taught me the joys of doughnuts, I refused to try one until nan cut it open and said look it has jam in it, since that day doughnuts were known as Jammits. Nan used to have a large box full of buttons, I’m sure every child’s Nan has the same box. This box of random buttons was my favourite toy and provided me with hours of happiness every time we stayed round nan’s, which was quite often.

when was younger and in a pushchair, I used to hate the noise planes made when in the sky. Nan went on holiday, mum pointed at the sky and said Nan is in that plane. After that, I would always point upwards and exclaim “ooooh loooook, nan is on that plane!” Even when nan was next to buggy and say “but I’m here.” I would look up at the plane then back at nan and say “how did you get up there and back here so quick!”

Me and nan would always go blackberry “hunting” as she called it, in the hope we could make a crumble. Think we only ever made two over the years, I would always eat them as we picked them and the ones that survived, would usually end up being eaten by nan and me as we washed them.

Growing up, every Saturday nan would come round and visit. She would always hide sweets in her bag, one part of the magic that nan had was hiding sweets in the Mary poppins bag (it seemed to have everything in), no matter how hard I looked, could never find the sweets she had in there.

Then there was “Asbo nan” why asbo nan? Where she used to live a few years back, she had problems with a neighbour in the flat above – this all stemmed from their cat having a poop in her plant outside flat door and telling neighbour they should pick up their cat’s poo as well as nan also shutting the security doors and the neighbour having a go at nan. It resulted in the neighbour throwing cat poo at her front door and purposely leaving the security door or slamming it, nan reported it and so the neighbour reported nan claiming she was abusive etc, so nan had a leaflet given to her by the local PCSOs (Police Community Support Officer) about Anti-social behaviour, it explained about something called an ASBO – anti-social behaviour order. After this, nan always claimed she had an asbo, so we started calling her asbo nan.

Nan was also the first person I got semi drunk with. How? I was staying with nan and we went to a jumble sale, she was looking after a stall and it was a lovely sunny hot day. Nan disappeared and returned with two plastic cups, she opened her bag and produced a large can of white lightning cider which we had half each, cue a very giggly nan and a very giggly me. Her friend asked what was so funny, when nan showed her friend the empty can in her bag, her friend exclaimed “Audrey!!!!” Cue nan giggling.

I have very fond memories of nan telling me her stories: living with her nan during World War Two, riding down a country lane on her bike and having to jump into a ditch because she thought the low flying airplane was German, to hiding under a table as planes flew over. Nan hated green sleeves song because that’s all her dad played and the falling out with him after her mum’s death because he threw away all her nat king Cole songs as he thought they were her mum’s. Then there’s nan’s reason for hating liquorice – she worked in the all-sorts factory and would take a few off the conveyor belt as well as the ones that didn’t pass inspection, she ate so much it put her off for rest of her life. The special one that always made her smile was telling me that grandad used to play unforgettable by nat king Cole on his clarinet for her.

When staying with nan, I remember nan would always sing another nat king Cole song when I fall in love when washing up. She would take me with her to help clean and tidy grandad’s grave. Nan would always chat away to him as she cleaned, hummed when I fall in love and unforgettable as she tidied and got me to join in with her chats.

When your nan gives massive approval of your husband to be (now husband) and exclaims “I never liked your first one, knew he was bad for you and wouldn’t treat you how you should be treated” you know you have the best nan. She would always look out for hubby’s blue Clio and rush to balcony to wave us hello or goodbye. The day he changed the car to a white one we knew. “I liked the blue car, could always see it’s you in the car park, I can’t see you from the balcony in the white one.”

My last memory of nan is a happy one, that was seeing Nan on Thursday 11th July, I spent just under an hour with her. Nan recognised me straight away, held her hand out and took mine which she hugged. She said Sam I Love You, I played her nat king Cole’s unforgettable to which she hummed along to and when his song when I fall in love played, she moved her hand to her lips and had a far away look as though she was thinking and smiled.

My Nan, my nanna darling was and still is a very special woman. Someone who was strong willed (some would call it being stubborn), had an incredible love for her family and I admire the strength of love she held for my grandad after his passing in 1980, she stayed loyal to him throughout the years and never remarried.

To nan, here are the words you always said to us every night when you tucked us in to sleep and they feel fitting: Love you. Night night, and god bless x